Griffin City The Story

Here the first part of Griffin City. Then the second, third and so on...Forever

Griffin City Part 1
Griffin City

Let’s get the basics covered first. For a start this is a sequel to Dragon Isle the never ending story about nothing in particular. Therefore this sequel is completely redundant and doesn’t deserve any credit for being written. It is then very unlikely that I will ever write this story or that you will ever read it and even if I do and you do there would be no point in reading it because it wouldn’t make any difference to our lives.

So there were never any Griffins or Cities. Then one day a griffin fell from a planet which didn’t exist and a city fell from the sun. As this is technically impossible it didn’t happen but they crashed into each other and died and so there never any Griffins, Cities or dung heaps. Then a Dragon gave birth to a dung heap named Griffin and griffin gave birth to a city called Dung Heap. Yes, I know it’s confusing. Anyway, dung heap created the world’s first Tom Downer! Tom Downer was so incredibly negative awesome that he imploded and exploded at the same time. However, this caused the creation of a mongoose called Magimbo whose very first action was to eat a doughnut in the shape of Tom Downer. This created the universe as we know it. Which we don’t. At all. And so the universe became incredibly bored and so created Mars. Mars had so much life it had to hide from Earth because if Earth found out it would become jealous and a bunch of retarded humans would come and litter the planet with burgers. Which would be terrible because Mars is strictly Hot Dog only. Then the writer realized that if he were to write a really awesome story he would have to become Tom Downer. The mere idea of becoming Tom Downer filled the writer with dread. However this sentence has been censored to avoid any form of bullying towards Tom Downer… So the writer did not become Tom Downer. Instead the writer invented a language that used on only ‘lol’ and ‘pickle’ and became incredibly bored with just saying “lol pickle” all the time.

Then Dragon Isle was destroyed for no apparent reason and Tom Downer decided to make a website about it. :D

Not surprisingly the rest of the universe had been functioning perfectly well while all of the stuff in dragon isle was going on. Except for the fact that, and if you have read any of dragon isle you would know this, it had been destroyed six times but no one had really noticed or cared. Except Tom Downer and Sparry. Who were the ones who destroyed the universe in the first place. Lol pickle.

Anyway for no reason that the human mind can comprehend except for Tom Downer and Sparry who weren’t humans at all so I don’t even know why I mentioned it, oh god I’m so depressed, something happened. Then Slash appeared from nowhere and played an absolutely awesome guitar solo which created Tom Downer and Sparry. Again.

So there were now two Tom Downers and two Sparrys but still no griffins or cities but there were dung heaps.

Tom Downer travelled back in time with the only dung heap in the universe to when there weren’t any dung heaps in the universe and so there were now dung heaps in the universe. Tom downer then took the dung heap away and created a paradox because of the fact that he lefty and he came back. At the same time. How is this possible. If you had been following the story you would know that there were two Tom Downers.

Sparry then turned into Tom Downer. Then Sparry turned into Tom Downer. Then Tom Downer turned into Sparry. Then Tom Downer turned into Sparry. No I am not repeating myself there were two of both of them. Unfortunately one Sparry failed at life and died so now there was only one Sparry. Then Tom Downer ate Tom Downer with potatoes and gravy and stuffing. He enjoyed it so created Dangeresque. He modelled him on the Sparry that failed at life. This was a problem as the Sparry that failed at life only lasted long enough to become president of dragon isle. Which was about an hour. Tom Downer ate Dangeresque with peas, carrots and chicken on a pizza. He found it tasty. Unfortunately the massive meals made tom downer epicly fat and he exploded taking Sparry with him. Then Methane Boy burped and created an entirely new universe filled entirely with Methane Boys and Rebecca Windles. Ta da! This was Tom Downer’s dream universe so he came back from the dead to experience the pleasure of it. I know it sounds erotic but it wasn’t. Except for Tom.

Somehow some people appeared form nowhere and told Tom Downer that he was king of the universe. Then the universe ended with a small pop. So there was no king of the universe. Lol pickle.

Griffin City Part 2
Then by an inexplicable coincidence nothing happened except that a small restaurant decided to open in the middle of the end of nothing. And by nothing I mean the universe as we don’t know it. And we don’t know it because it doesn’t exist and therefore we don’t either.

A mongoose named obmigam appeared from nowhere and killed everything except Chuck Norris (Who is impervious to all forms of kryptonite). Tom Downer survived and he somehow fused with Chuck Norris to become Chom Downorris. Just for a laugh.

The end. Except that it wasn’t as Sparry, who hasn’t been mentioned for a while, created a hyperspacial express route through Ursa Minor Alpha opening a small niche in the market for Ursa Minor Beta to become the hippest place in the whole galaxy. By and large this action was largely irrelevant and probably will not have any effect in the story. Unless of course it does.

On a completely unrelated subject Chom Downorris fell out of a low flying rat and hit some the sky with a soft flump. This created a hypernuclear explosion which created the universe. Yet again.

Griffin City Part 3
Then a random blob appeared from nowhere and told Jiffy that his evil twin, Jiffy, was about to kill him in minus ten days. You can probably see where this is going now. Jiffy, by a bizarre coincidence, was curious and went back ten days, killed himself and became his evil twin. It doesn’t make any sense at all does it? Anyhow Jiffy came back as Jiffy and not Jiffy who was Jiffy but not Jiffy in the first place. He met Tom Downer and Tom told him to go away because if he stayed around to long his awesome aura would kill him. So Jiffy left and became incredibly depressed and bored until he met Sparry. Sparry went to see Tom Downer but had to wear awesome clothes that stopped him being killed by the awesomness of Tom. Tom and Sparry thought that Jiffy was a pain n the butt and killed him with the power of rock and awesome. By which I mean a very large boulder and a very big club. They realized that if they were ever going to have that much fun again they would have to team up and fight stuff. And in absolutely no way bully each other. Lol!